What things could hinder you from expressing your own original ideas. How could you overcome these obstacles?
I burn with the desire to leave my mark upon this world. I want to leave behind something others can connect with, something that will grant me immortality long after my bones have been laid to rest. My mind is constantly mulling over an idea for some form of creative writing or expression. Yet, locked within my mind they stay. The biggest thing that hinders me from expressing my ideas and turning them into tangible creations is myself. I spew hopes and dreams of becoming a well know writer, of becoming a somebody. However, I do little to actually achieve this goal. A writer who doesn’t take time to write is hardly a writer. No? I have bits and pieces of ‘books’ that I’ve started that are left unfinished, though the plot still remains fresh in my mind. I have a few short works of poetry or flash fiction that has been thrown about and placed in various places on the internet. I even have a finished children’s story that is just rotting on my computer as I do nothing to get it published. My lack of motivation is my biggest foe.
So why am I so unmotivated? Well that delves into many factors which are also hindrances in and of themselves. My motivation ebbs and flows as my depression comes and goes. I’m not merely self diagnosing here, in the past I’ve been diagnosed with major depression. There’s a lot in my life that has contributed to my mental state but I won’t cover that in this blog. My mood tends to flow through cycles that can be triggered by the something major, something small, or nothing at all. I’ve dealt with this for years now and at times its better, and other times its worse. When at some of my lowest points the desire I carry to transcend my current life still burns deeply. Unfortunately, the flame isn’t hot enough to burn down the curtain of despair. Instead of doing something proactive I let myself get caught up in the woes of life and grow stagnant.
Lack of motivation, and depression are further aided by my own ignorance and lack or resources. My ignorance could be cured if I would make the time to really research and find the steps I need to take. As mentioned above I do have a finished work just sitting untouched and unread. Now I just need to figure out the steps to take toward publishing. Not that its an easy task but I’ll for sure never achieve it without putting forth any effort. My ignorance in what to do next is further exacerbated by my scant financial resources and social connections.
Ahh but excuses, excuses; there’s almost always a way to overcome adversity. I suppose one of the first things I should do is make it a point to write more. Even if its not writing on one of my books taking the time to write gets the creative juices flowing and sharpens the skills. I also need to make time to research the publishing process. I don’t expect to get handed a deal, or get published on my first try. I know it won’t be easy and there will be rejection. Yet, I’ll never be published if I don’t submit. Lastly, I need to reach out and communicate with others who have similar goals or who have experience in this field. I do actually know a person or two who could offer some advice. Why haven’t I reacted out to them? Laziness I suppose. Time and time again I have boasted that I will become an author. So now I need to stop talking about it and do it.
I’ll end this blog with a quote from a man who always inspires me.
“Your book isn’t burned it was never written …”
-Marilyn Manson: The Gardner : Born Villain
Tags: a look inside, a look inside blog, blog, blogger, blogging, creative writing, expression, hinder, journal, journal post, journal prompt, journaling, life, life blog, life experiences, life lessions, Motivation, overcome obstacles, para morbid, para morbid a look inside, para morbid blog, prompt, prompted, prompted blog, prompted writing, self expression, unmotivated, Writer, writers block, writing, writing prompt
I want to be more than what I am
Much more than a sucking little lamb
Fill my head with things unknown
Not into the fire to be thrown
Transform and change
Mind going deranged
Infuse me with the dark
Unto lies do not hark
Always hungry, always thirsting
Never filling, never busting
An appetite that can’t be quelled
A burning flame that never pales
Tags: a look inside, a lookinside blog, blog, blogger, blogging, cravings, cravings poem, cravings poetry, creative, creative expression, creative poem, creative poetry, creative writing, dark, dark poem, dark poetry, disturbing poem, emotional, expressions, morbid poem, para morbid, para morbid blog, para morbid poem, para morbid poetry, para morbid writing, poem, poem blog, poetry, poetry blog, reflective poem, somber poem, somber poetry, story poem, story poetry, weird, weird poem, weird poetry
Reflecting the world but the glass is cracking
Feeling incomplete, something is lacking
The world looks in seeing its own reflection
Everything’s normal until closer inspection
Pick up a hammer and shatter the glass
Crawl inside, wade through the past
Pick off the cobwebs and adjust your eyes
Look around, the exterior lies
The world is distorted, dark, and drear
With a touch of whimsey and morbid cheer
Things that are strange lie all around
Left is right, and up is down
Oddly alluring and wonderfully weird
Where normal is loathed and grotesque is revered
Beauty lies in all the wrong places
You’re a stranger here, recognizing no faces
A path appears, but should you follow?
A lump in your throat and its hard to swallow
Take a deep breath and gather your strength
The path stretches out for an unknown length
Deeper and deeper into the depths you dive
There’s no guarantee of coming out alive
The path grows darker with each step you take
Now you wonder if this was all a mistake
The path stretches onward yet, its to dark too see
The urge rises up and you begin to flee
Turning around you race toward the light
But its too late now, no matter how hard you fight
The path crumbles away and you fall into air
Screaming for help but there’s nobody there
Forever trapped inside my mind
You are now mine until the end of time
Tags: beside disturbing, beside disturbing blog, blog, blogger, blogging, creative, creative expression, creative poem, creative poetry, creative writing, dark, dark poem, dark poetry, disturbing poem, emotional, expressions, long poem, long poetry, morbid poem, oddly alluring, para morbid, para morbid blog, para morbid poem, para morbid poetry, para morbid writing, poem, poem blog, poetry, poetry blog, reflective poem, somber poem, somber poety, story poem, story poetry, weird, weird poem, weird poetry, wonderfully weird, writing
Into the darkness to find the light
Into myself to unleash the demon
Into the night to avoid the day
Into the nightmare to discover the dream
Into the mirror to slay the beast
Into the mind to quite the fears
Into the heart to purge the pain
Into my skin to live out my days
Into the past to bury the memory
Into the future to sew the seeds
Into the present to live in regret
Into eternity for nonexistence
Tags: beside disturbing, blog, blog poem, blog poetry, blogger, bloggig, creative poem, creative poetry, creative writing, creativity, dark, dark imagery, dark poem, dark poetry, depressions, disturbing, emotion, emotional, emotional poem, emotional poetry, life, para, para morbid, para morbid poem, poem, poem blog, poetry, sorrow, writing
I cried out and no one answered.
I sought yet never found.
I gave myself unto thee.
And was crushed upon the ground.
My dreams once were vivid.
My soul a ray of light.
Now I stand alone and lost.
Wondering blindly in the night.
I hold my hand outstretched.
Waiting for a reassuring touch.
Hope now is fading.
Why did I expect so much?
I close my eyes to rest.
Hoping for some peace at last.
My heart forever broken.
Dwelled too long in the past.
By Para Morbid 2011
(Originally posted on facebook and Hubpages.com)
Tags: blog, blogging, creative writing, creativity, dark, dark poem, dark poetry, depression, disturbing, disturbing poem, disturbing poetry, emotion, emotional, emotional poem, emotional poetry, expression, I cried out, life, no one answered, para morbid, para morbid blog, para morbid poem, poem, poetry, sad, sad poem, self expression, sorrow, sullen, writing
Poem and photograph by Para Morbid 2013
Tags: beside disturbing, creative, creative poem, creative poetry, creative writing, creativity, dark, dark poem, dark poetry, dark writing, dejection, disturbing, emotion, emotional, feeling, gas mask, gas mask man, gas mask photo, gas mask poem, gas mask poetry, gasmask, gasmask man, gasmask photo, gasmask poem, gasmask poetry, Human, human inside, humanity, man with gas mask, man with gasmask, mask, masked, masked man, morbid, para morbid, para morbid blog, para morbid poem, photograph, photography, poem, poetry, protection, reflective poem, war, writing
Amongst the rusty dust of Mars surrounded by Eco spears Ehab, Eco-habitation, colony 001 rises over the baron planet. The first Mars colony to be established, Ehab is a utopian society for those dedicated to a better future for humanity. Advances in technology had given rise to new possibilities that a select few dared harness and dream of a better tomorrow. From this Ehab was born and has grown from a small colony dependent on supplies from the Earth to a large, thriving, sustainable, and independent society of the free thinkers.
The translucent Eco spears encompassing the colony regulate the climate to perfectly maintain proper conditions. Within the main Eco spear the temperature is maintained at a steady 75 degrees Fahrenheit. This central spear is the social hub of the colony and where most citizens choose to reside. There are various shopping centers, entertainment facilities, parks and more which are open 24/7. Many residents have homes withing this central spear. Branching off are many other spears. Each one has a climate that is conducive to its function. Some spears are dedicated to crops while others are home to livestock. Still others provide more housing, and various communities for those who want to dwell away from the boisterous central hub. Within Ehab there is a spear to suit everyone’s fancy.
Most of the tedious daily task are taken care of by robotics as to maximize efficiency and free time for the colony’s citizens. However, not everything can be done by machines and one of the few stipulations for abiding in the colony is that everyone pull their own weight. Its mandatory for each citizen above the age of 18 to contribute their calculated hours of labor each week. The work to be done is not back breaking labor, nor does is dominate the entire day. It is simply work to keep the colony and society running smoothly so that the benefits can continue to be enjoyed. There is no form of currency, everything is free provided each citizen does their part. This allows the colony to function and grow while no one has to be overworked nor get a free ride.
Within Ehab everyone works together to build a world where petty differences are a thing of the past. Freedom is the main priority, but as the past has shown freedom does come at a cost. If everyone is not willing to abide by the few rules that maintain order and ensures the rights of all humans are preserved, they will not be tolerated within the colony. As to date Ehab has had no problems with their citizens. Everyone who chooses to live within the colony is of a like mind and ready for true peace. They have shed old ideals of hate and discrimination and embraced the notion that all humans should have equal rights and opportunities. A new breed of free thinking humans have come into existence.
Ehab is the next link in mankind’s evolutionary chain. For centuries humans have bickered, fought, and killed amongst themselves only to achieve nothing. Ehab has shown this this senseless cycle can be broken and mankind can live as one and in peace. The societies humanity has become accustomed to were built by man and reside withing man’s limitations. Yet now the shackles have been broken and a new age dawns.
By Para Morbid 2013
Tags: beliefs, believing, better tomorrow, blog, blogging, Citizenship, Colony, creative, creative writing, ehab, fiction, flash fiction, flash fiction science fiction, flash fiction sifi, free thinkers, free thinking, future, Human, humanity, mankind, mars, mars colony, new age, new era, para morbid, peace, science fiction, short fiction, short sifi, short story, sifi, sifi society, society, space, space colonization, space colony, story, utopia, utopian society, welcome to ehab, work of fiction, writing
It descended upon the masses cloaking them completely
Welcomed like a warm blanket in winter into every home
Deception wasn’t necessary: they blindly followed down the path
Like a contagion it spread into a pandemic
The masses fell victim by their own actions
Never questioning, never opposing
Soaking in everything through rose colored glasses
Taking their destruction upon themselves
Only a few are immune to the threat
Those that seek and are not led
Salvation for the masses is a hopeless endeavor
Count them among the dead and cut your ties
By Para Morbid 2013
Tags: beliefs, believing, blog, blogging, contagion, Contagious, contagious poem, creative, creative writing, dark, dark poem, dark poetry, disease, false hope, follow blindly, humanity, morbid, morbid poem, morbid poetry, pandemic, para morbid, poem, poetry, religion, sickness, society, victim, writing
Tired of living
Not ready to die
Stuck in a rut
In failure I lie
Disappointed in myself
Lost in nothing
Withering away
Waiting for something
Burning with desire
Lacking the will
Lost in dreams
Never getting my fill
Slipping away
Inside I crawl
Shutting down
Awaiting the fall
By Para Morbid 2013
Tags: blog, blogging, creative writing, creativity, dark, dark poem, dark poetry, disapointment, emotion, emotional. feeling, para morbid, para morbid poem, poetry, poignant, poignant poetry, sad, sad poem, sad poetry, shutting down, solum, solum poem, sorrow, stagnant decay, struggle, vent, venting, writing
A Look Inside 