All Hallows Eve is just around the corner and my skin is tingling with anticipation. While for several years now I’ve not really gotten a chance to do anything to celebrate, Halloween remains my favorite holiday. Since I was a small child this time of year, Halloween in particular, always was a special. The lovely colors that adorn the trees just before they shed their foliage are a sight to behold. Pumpkins, gourds, corn stalks and other lovely things decorating houses all around. Morbid and macabre items fill the shelves and costumes of all kinds begin to rear their heads. All this makes me feel at home in the world.
Sigh if only this morbidly magnificent time of year stretched on a little longer. From October 1st to just after November 2nd when Day of the Dead wraps up is the time I look forward to all other days of the year. Through winter, spring, and summer I eagerly await the store shells to yet again fill with skeletons, pumpkins, zombies, and other spooky items. Its when I would love to do most of my home décor shopping if I wasn’t always broke. Even just window shopping gives me a thrill as I stand amidst all the macabre goodies. However, over the past few years I’ve noticed a decline in my local stores of all the spooky treasurers I adore. Earlier in October I stood in horror looking at my beloved Halloween items sitting only inches from Christmas items. “What blaspheme is this?” I thought as I shook my head. Not for any religious reasons did this cross my mind as I’m not religious in the slightest. Yet, October hasn’t even passed yet, nor has Thanksgiving and they are already promoting Christmas. But what do I expect? Christmas is the biggest money stealing holiday. My heart sank further when my boyfriend, who works in retail, told me last week they had reduced the Halloween stock down to a little cart. Nothing was going on clearance and soon these items would be stored for next year. Halloween night hasn’t even come and gone yet, it is already being tossed aside.
I recall how excited I would get every year as a child as Halloween night grew closer. Months before October I would have several ideas for costumes and be witting them away until only one idea remained. I recall dressing up as a witch, ghost, dog, cat, and on one occasion a combination of a magical witch cat. Now I still get flashes of inspiration for costume ideas and would love to dress up. Sadly due to time, money, and other factors I’ve not gotten to for many years now. Each year I get my hopes up that I can dress up and go to a costume party. Yet, each year something keeps me from it. My childhood wonder and desire to transform myself into someone else, even if just temporary, is something that has stayed with me these twenty some odd years. Perhaps, next year I can indulge myself. We shall see.
I sit here typing this a day before Halloween. Part of me is excited but another part is doleful. My beloved holiday is set to pass me by uneventful as it has for many a year now. It is starting to become a bittersweet time as I find myself unable to partake in the joys I once delighted in. Yet, this is one part of my life where I remain hopeful. I look forward to the day when I can once again find the resources to join in on all the creepy fun. Be forewarned when I make my return to the Halloween scene it will be in full force.
A Look Inside 