Dismal Leaves

Photo taken and edited by Para Morbid

 

Oddly Alluring and Wonderfully Weird

Reflecting the world but the glass is cracking
Feeling incomplete, something is lacking
The world looks in seeing its own reflection
Everything’s normal until closer inspection

Pick up a hammer and shatter the glass
Crawl inside, wade through the past
Pick off the cobwebs and adjust your eyes
Look around, the exterior lies

The world is distorted, dark, and drear
With a touch of whimsey and morbid cheer
Things that are strange lie all around
Left is right, and up is down

Oddly alluring and wonderfully weird
Where normal is loathed and grotesque is revered
Beauty lies in all the wrong places
You’re a stranger here, recognizing no faces

A path appears, but should you follow?
A lump in your throat and its hard to swallow
Take a deep breath and gather your strength
The path stretches out for an unknown length

Deeper and deeper into the depths you dive
There’s no guarantee of coming out alive
The path grows darker with each step you take
Now you wonder if this was all a mistake

The path stretches onward yet, its to dark too see
The urge rises up and you begin to flee
Turning around you race toward the light
But its too late now, no matter how hard you fight

The path crumbles away and you fall into air
Screaming for help but there’s nobody there
Forever trapped inside my mind
You are now mine until the end of time

 

Clack Tracks

Photo by Para Morbid : Taken in KY

 

Family Comparison

 

Born in a Kentucky town and raised in the middle of nowhere by two loving, yet relatively normal, parents I turned out quite different than most around me. Both my brother and I are vastly different and just don’t fit the mold of either our family or traditional Kentuckian. I thought it would be interesting, and a bit fun, to look at some of my family members compared to me.

My father was born in a small country town in a simpler time. His mother and father had eleven children including my father. He grew up helping his family on a farm. He was a farmer himself among other things. He kept a heard of cattle and raised tobacco while also working for a tree trimming service. He enjoyed gardening, hunting, fishing, coffee, walking in the woods, good food, and sitting on the front porch. He enjoyed watching Western movies, MASH, NOVA, nature shows, and such. He listened to bluegrass, country, and gospel music along with writing lyrics and singing the latter two. During his latter years of life he went to church with my mother and I and he put his musical talents to good use. His casual dress was blue jeans and a plain T-shirt with a front pocket and a cap on his head. He was what I consider one of those good ‘ol country boys. He was honest and hard working. He never met a stranger and was kind and generous. Though his hands were hard and calloused from hard labor his heart was soft and kind.

My mother was also born in a small town but grew up with a smaller family. She had a fraternal twin sister, a younger sister, older brother, and older half brother. She worked for a time in a sewing factory until she married my father and became a wife, mother, and homemaker. In her younger years she was a fire cracker and didn’t hesitate to give you a piece of her mind, getting into arguments with strangers when they tried to push her around. After she fell ill with cancer and other health issues she became a bit more shy. She enjoyed flowers and when she was able planted and kept gardens herself. Later they were kept up and cared for by my father. She enjoyed walking in the woods before she fell ill. Even after her health began to decline she enjoyed fishing, watching humming birds while sitting on the porch drinking coffee. She watched soap operas, Little House On The Prairie, The Waltons, Touched By An Angle and the like. She went to Church when her health permitted. She always loved Elvis and had tickets to see him but he died before the concert. Before she fell ill her attire was usually black dress pants with a plain shirt underneath a nicer button up or dress jacket. After he health failed she wore blue jeans and printed T-shirts when not going to church. She was always loving and cared deeply for her family.

Other relatives from both sides of the family follow much of the same suit. Most go to church and are Christians in some form or another. On my dad’s side you have the typical country folk. A lot of them live in rural areas and enjoy much of the same things my father did and dress much in the same fashion. The younger generations deviate from the path a bit but are more or less the same. On mom’s side of the family you have less farmer orientation but still have the good ‘ol country folk. They dress modestly and casually. They were born and raised here in Kentucky and many of them have stayed here.

Then you get to me and my brother and things start to change. My brother is fourteen years older than me so there is quite a gap. Even though we are siblings we pretty much grew up as only children. My brother inherited my father’s work ethic. He works hard and has always been there for me in my time of need. His taste in music is hugely different than that of most of our family. While many of them still listen to country and contemporary Christian he listens to brutal death metal. For several years he was lead guitarist in a band and play around Kentucky and other states. When not in work clothes he dresses in cargo and military pants sporting band t-shirts and hoodies. He use to have long hair with an undercut though it is now buzzed. He has three or so tattoos and a few piercings. One of his favorite shows is the Walking Dead and horror movies rank high on his list, the gorier and more perverse the better. Anything horror or gore related is right up his ally, throwing in some nerdy things such as fantasy, scifi and transformers into the mix. His humor lies in the darker side and others would consider it inappropriate. We often crack jokes that would make those around us shudder or twist their faces in disgust. He isn’t spiritual and takes a more agnostic position. His leisure time is spent watching movies, going to metal shows, and comic conventions.

Then there’s me. A lot of my likes lie closely with those of my brother. Bloody and visceral movies are among my favorites along with things that are just strange or different. I enjoy psychological thrillers and anything paranormal or supernatural. Fantasy, scifi, mech, and more rank high in my interests. I love anime and other adult cartoons like Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Super Jail, and South Park. My style of dress is evolving as most of my life I have settled for whatever I can find as I have a hard time finding things I like in my size (that’s a topic for another day). Currently its mostly jeans with horror or nerdy shirts and hoodies. I have one tattoo but want three more and have six piercings and again want a few more. I went from being Christian like most of my family to atheist. My free time is spent writing, listening to podcasts or watching documentaries, playing video games, watching movies and anime, and going to comic conventions with my boyfriend and brother. My taste in music ranges from metal to brutal death metal with a few other things mixed in here and there. My sense of humor is dark and inappropriate.

This brief look into myself and my family is just a few highlights. I’m not the most bizarre person to live in Kentucky, in fact I know several others who have similar interests. Yet, compared to my family I’m not like the majority. I often look at my relatives and reflect on my parents and wonder why me and my brother drifted toward the morbid side. I detest or just don’t agree with a lot of my family’s tastes or beliefs. They watch TV shows that I find boring, listen to music that makes my flesh crawl, and hold opinions that are in direct conflict to mind. I’ve come to find they don’t really know me as well as perhaps I thought or they believed. Casual conversations sometimes lead them looking at me perplexed. Other topics, such as religion and politics, I just dodge all together. Sometimes I feel a little left out, but then again I am who I am, I like what I like, and wouldn’t have it any other way.